Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's blow job season.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
