Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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