she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
