party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize