I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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