You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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