Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it's like heaven, but drunker
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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