Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
