THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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