i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
