The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
