You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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