I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
