She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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