I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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