I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
