I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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