Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize