you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize