i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
