Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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