Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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