So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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