Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
