Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
