thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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