i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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