Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
