She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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