soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
