Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
