My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Shame - the story of my life.
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