I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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