we're blogging at a bar
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
