We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
