if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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