smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
420 ftw
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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