That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
