he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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