She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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