it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
