very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
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It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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