Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
