Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize