Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize