i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just had sex on a roof
so much tequila, so little girl.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
