Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
