mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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