Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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