Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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