Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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