Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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