I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
And then he peed in my hair
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