Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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