Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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