I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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