Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize